My prayers have been answered, my sacred intentions manifested. This coming Tuesday, 5/5/20, my newest book, Activating Your 5D Frequency, will be officially released, published by Inner Traditions/ Bear & Company, aka “dream publishers” for books like mine.  And fear and overwhelm keep lurking in the shadows jumping out at their whim to play havoc with my joy.

Yes, I’m hugely grateful.  I’m grateful for the book coming through me, for the book contract (thank you Linda Star Wolf,) and for all the hoops I’ve been asked to jump through.  (Trust me there have been many unanticipated hoops in this process.) Growth is my friend.  Stepping out of my comfort zone is something I’ve always believed myself to be fairly skilled at. I’m grateful for my life which has magically or otherwise, provided me with all of my heart’s desires.

But I’m not yet grateful for the fear.  It’s annoying.  It disrupts my inner peace. And I don’t like overwhelm — I like a relaxing, satisfying flow.  Apparently though, fear and overwhelm and oh yes, stress, come with this new territory I’m stepping into:  I’ve committed to and scheduled my virtual book launch (see below), which calls on several new skills including tech stuff (Ugh), and asks that I be interesting, informative, inspiring and articulate about the book. (Whew — no pressure there!). I’m making videos, actually fun once I start, but getting started is always scary and daunting.  Then there are the new interview and media opportunities coming my way.  I’m excited.  I’m overwhelmed.  I’m connecting with amazing people.  I’m figuring I’m probably nuts to be agreeing to some of these.

Let me give you some examples.  I received an email through my website from a man who produces a radio show called the Kingdom of Nye saying he would like to schedule me on the show and to give him a call.  So I called him and got his voice mail.  He called me back while I was leading a phone meditation with 18 people.  They had just closed their eyes and were focusing on their breath when my phone flashed a new call, which with my lack of tech skill caused me to hit “accept and …” thinking I had not accepted, which in turn cut off all those 18 people. I let him know I hadn’t meant to answer and was in the middle of something and I’d call him back.  (Luckily my meditation folks were all there still waiting…)

When I called him back, he was so lovely, that I ended up agreeing to be on this live show that starts at 9 pm Pacific time and goes to 1 am, which is midnight to 4 am my time!  Yes, I am insane to do this. He keeps assuring me I’ll have a blast when all I’m hoping is that I don’t nod off in the middle a sentence. (I’ll be taking listeners questions so maybe I’ll be entertained enough… one can only hope.)

Then there was the video I made with my Experiencing Your Multidimensionality meditation (which is from the book.) It took me four tries on Zoom to actually be recording it correctly, but on the last try I was doing great, and I had just brought everyone back from the meditation, all of us in a state of peace and calm, when a phone call showed up on my computer (yep, there’s a pattern) and I hit ‘not-accept’ but it took me away from the recording screen. At which point I said  “F—!!  I can’t believe this!”– then I made several unattractive faces, and then I realized I was still recording!

While I got the humor of it all, and now know how to make my phone NOT show up on my computer when I record, I did not want to throw away a good 20-minute video!  So I found a way on Zoom to clip it.  Then loaded it on my YouTube channel — but those last few minutes were still there!  I tried this every which way, several times without success. Finally I found another program to successfully edit out the expletive and weird faces.  Stress? oh yes!

Another example (if you’re not yawning yet): this very lovely woman contacted me through my publicist to see if I would do a written interview with her.  She loves the book (great) and in checking out her website, I saw she’s Dutch, living in The Netherlands, and publishing this wonderful online magazine called Global Heart, where she wants to publish the interview.  Wonderful!  But her questions are so broad, I could write a whole book to answer them.  (Oh wait… I did!)

I could go on, but this is already getting too long.

So my main point to you all:  We truly can get what we wish for, but be prepared:  fear, overwhelm and stress may well come along as part of the package.  As we stretch into our highest potential, growing pains are a natural bi-product. Or as we said back in the day;  “Another f–king growth opportunity.”

I hope you will all join me for my virtual book launch (see the details below).  If you haven’t ordered your book yet, I’ll be having a drawing to give two signed copies away.  But do order it anyway, and ideally from your local independent book store.

Lest we forget, we’re all still in the middle of this very weird pandemic. Be safe, be gentle with yourself, reach out for support if needed, find your inner peace. And please keep holding the vision of us emerging as a spiritually-awakened planet.